Just a quick update

I will be traveling to LaFayette on Thanksgiving Day and will be able to see Stephanie or talk with her for the first time sinc she's entered Hossana House. I've spoken to our friend who says she seems to be improving, but still much prayer is stil needed as it's obvious this will be a very slow process. I will post again shortly so please continue to just lift up prayer that forever healing will be in the very near future.

May the God of Hope be with you and your family on Thanksgiving Day!

Steve

She's made a Corageous Decision

Tonight I blog to you with a heavy heart, but Stephanie has left my house and has decided to take a courageous step forward as her condition is at a standstill. She’s decided to check in to HOSANNA House which is a church sponsored operation in our home town of LaFayette, AL. This is a house where many different types of women come with different area of needs in their lives. I know little about it but a longtime friend of ours emailed me about a month ago telling me a little about it and I really didn’t follow up because I was trying to just seek out my doctor that I knew here in Newnan who I have confidence in and felt he could help her. Then on Friday Stephanie was with our Dad at the grocery store and this friend just happen to be there and this just might have been a God ordained appointment. I believe that this might just be what she’s needed all along as I’m a believer that Step h some real issues that she just hasn’t been willing to speak of. I know this was a hard decision as she was so wanting to return home to be with her family for Thanksgiving. I know that some people might not just understand all this, but depression is something that I feel can really hold you captive as when I walked through my time of darkness it was just really the most daunting thing as it took over and invaded my very core.

I have several prayer requests that I feel are urgent so please include these in your daily time with the Lord. The first one is that all parties involved will just have a real peace that Stephanie made the right decision. She made this decision on her own with no influence as she’s desperate to get well! Second, pray for her husband and boys, ask the Holy Lord to put an understanding in them of why this wife & mother needs to be doing this, and that she can be united with them quickly. Pray also for all of us who are closely involved in this process as sometimes we grow weary and the light goes dims and that the verse I’m reminded of is in John 8:12 saying Jesus answered “I’m the Light of the World, he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but walk in the Light of Life.” Let us all take hold to that verse Christian’s knowing that our light may grow dim, but HIS light burns bright! Continue to pray for each doctor that are involved and that will be getting involved in being able to administer the right help. Pray for truth in this as I feel she’s repressed something that she’s not able to speak about and that she just holding it in as I’m personally a huge advocate that truth will set you free. Pray for her assurance in Christ Jesus and please make this the priority as the Satan has just tried to destroy her thought process of who she is in Christ.

In closing once again I just want to say thank you for all that you mean to her and to our family. Thank your continued prayers and for just being here for her as she’s just really in the wilderness as she and we need all of your support and prayers!

To our faithful King……Jesus……our Advocate in Heaven!
Steve

God where do we go from here?

Here we are on Friday, November 20, 2009 and I’m really just feeling helpless as Stephanie’s progress is moving very slowly with little or no changes. As I blogged last week I was very encouraged and thought by this time this week she would be really heading toward healing and out from this darkness that has seized and consumed her, but that isn’t the case and I for one am very discouraged. So as I blog this morning it will be more of a prayer, a prayer of hope, a prayer of desperateness, a prayer that our Father in Heaven will receive through our advocate King Jesus.
Lord first let me just praise you and thank you for where we are since day 1 as I see much improvement in the condition of Stephanie, and that improvement deserves our praise to You and You only! Oh, God many things need to happen as Stephanie is saying that she’s going home this weekend. Lord I’m convinced that she’s not ready to go home and I know that she’s wanting to see her family God, but Lord I asked that you work that out and that her family will understand that it’s just not time for her to be able to return to them yet as she is in no shape to resume her responsibilities as a wife, mother, or really anything else. Lord I continue to pray for a complete healing of her mental mindset and that through you she will win this battle once and for all as it’s been going on for years. Also Lord I pray that you put the right people in front of her and surround her with a legion of your Holy Angels for the protection of only You could give. God this is just hard, it hard to comprehend, God I’m trying to understand as this is really just hard to grasp. Lord daily I have to remind myself that you are in control that you know where this is going and how it’s going to end up! Lord where is this going? How is this going to heal? Lord I search you out to change this situation, Lord I pray that you remove any or all obstacles that might be standing in the way of total healing….Lord I have no idea what that might, but you are aware of all. God just allow Stephanie to have that peace that You are her God and that Satan as no dominion over her as You are the AUTHORITY. You are her God, You are the most High, You are the Alpha and the Omega that all things are under you not over You! Amen
Friends, today is critical and decisions have to be made join me in asking our Lord that the right decision be made for Stephanie. Pray that everyone involved will be lead from the Spirit of the Most High and not from our own self serving will!

WOW...The Difference a Day Makes

The titles says it all WOW The Difference a Day Makes! As I can't say that loud enough, as my day started out very early yesterday on the 13th, as I got up around 4:00 am and started the coffee pot. As I was pouring my first cup of coffee I heard the door open from down stairs and Stephanie popped around the corner telling me she hadn't slept a wink! I told her for someone who has had no sleep, she looked pretty good and then said I bet you had more sleep than you thought. Then she just asked if she could have a glass a milk, but instead I made her a hot herbal tea...called sleepy tea which is soothing and relaxes you in hopes she would go back to bed for rest.

After she finished her tea I had already started my 2ND cup of coffee and she came into the den and sat across from me, and that started a very lengthy conversation about where she was, how she felt, how she got to this point and as I tried to stay very objective I could feel God use the time to speak His words and letting her know that it's going to be alright.......and that she is a child of God.......and she had always been such a seeker of Him........and desired to know who He was. From that she looked up at me and said Steve I know that I'm a child of God.....I know that He saved me......I know that I'm a Christian.......WOW for the first time I could really see that in her face and I thought Oh God you are beginning to bring her out of this and that a new dawn is approaching and that your Word is without void......and that your timing is becoming perfected right then and there. I then asked her could I read all the blogs that I had posted and she said yes, and that was the first time she felt like listening. Her and I had a revival of emotions as I read steadily each blog and at times I could barely speak the words that both of us would just cry....for me my emotions was just being able to see the power of a MOST HIGH GOD for her an emotions to be able to cry and have tears and just weep....I can't hardly explain this it’s just really powerful and I'm not sure if my words can serve HIS Glory here justice. And sometimes between 6:00 & 6:15 she said I’m going to lay down and then about 8:30-9:00am I went down stairs to wake her as I had a full day planned as I had to head to North West Georgia for business and I wanted her to go with me.

So once we got dressed and on the road as we both also got hair cut’s we headed for a 2 hour long drive and the conversation continued and it was just such a different day from the previous day. I heard no doubts, no sighs of panic, she was pleasant with what seemed to be very little anxiety even though I know depression is still there and that she still has a ways to go but I feel that God is going to get her 100% mentally strong. My prayer now is that all can just be patient and that we can see this through over the next couple of weeks, and that we can see her return home with a new day, and that all things have passed away like a fade. She did express some emotions in hoping that when she returned home that she would be up to task as I asked her could you be ready right now to return and she said I’m so ready to see my family….I’m so ready to see them, but I know I’m not at the point to give them a 100%. I just encouraged her to be patient that we had all come too far not to see this through. That Tim, Nate, and Jake needs them but they need her at a 100% and not to return to quickly that she could revert backwards. So please continue to be in prayer for God’s perfect timing, for God’s patience in us from all sides from her family in TN, to my family in Newnan with the disruptions of our daily routine to minister to her, as we are still committed to see this through the end. Continue that on Tuesday of the coming week that the doctor is going to just know that hey I can see and hear a difference. Pray for no setbacks that she continues to move forward. Last night Stephanie was able to go to one of her dear college friends and fellow Christian sister’s home to spend the weekend and it’s was just awesome feeling to see her get in the car with a sense of restored confidence and a glimmer of the sister I’ve known from past….as sister who was always the encourager…..a sister who sought God’s strength….not her own a sister with NO DEPRESSION this is my continued prayer which is permanent healing today and forever.

To King Jesus!

Steve

Frustration and Compassion

Compassion I must have, but frustration builds up as this journey continues. Today is the 24th day that Stephanie has been here and I think for me by far my hardest day in dealing with it all. So I pray for GRACE from God that I can show it to her and my family and not vent my frustration at anyone (sorry but I think I’ve vented on everyone today forgive me Lord) As I’ve said many times when I went through depression and afterwards it’s really hard to grab onto and understand so dealing with it on the other side is very difficult. I do feel that she’s not had the best of days today and at one time I really said to myself God is she ever going to get through this. Lord is this just what she been dealt but once I cleared the confusion on my thoughts (and we know the author of confusion is Satan, and I refuse to give him any credit) I continue to realize that this is really beyond me or any other person, but through our sovereign Lord healing will be achieved! What is impossible in us is very possible with HIM! I want to go back to my basic prayer request that 1st the med’s that she’s taking really move fast within her brain and stimulate the imbalance. 2nd That her thoughts become like a vapor and that any thinking of her not being saved and that there is no hope for her, and that she’s doomed is just a compete lie from Satan. Lord Jesus just let the Holy Spirit be her compass of protection and give her the reasoning power to put 2 and 2 together, that everything she says is not even scripturally based. 3rd Pray that the timing of her return back to TN is in His time not anyone else’s as I truly believe at this point if she went back in the next few days that her condition would reverse backwards, as I believe that 100% mind ready is the only way to return. Lastly pray without ceasing for God to just work a mighty, mighty, mighty miracle!!
In closing I want to once again just thank your all for your support and prayers that has already taken place. What a family we have in Christ, what friends that has been established over the years to just take the effort to pray, to read this blog, to call her, it means so much as once she’s well she will be able to know that she was prayed and ministered to in so many ways! Also feel free to post notes on the blog to her with scripture that may mean something to you for he, as His word is without void! If not scripture just something of encouraging words just to let her know hey we care and we want you to get well!

Last lets thank you Lord Jesus for the healing we've seen thus far and what we will see in the future! I just give HIM all glory and praise…..AMEN

Continued Progress but Concerns Linger

Yesterday (Tuesday) was 3 weeks to the exact date and as I've said before it's just really hard to believe. I'm so thankful that Stephanie is making such great progress, but I still have many concerns as I can sense she's going to be going home in the near future. She's doing so well that she wanted to stay with Mother and Dad another night or two, which is good as she was wanting to return to my home the last few weeks quicker and not as content to just stay. She's also making real efforts to put her make up on, doing her hair and, just really beginning to just make the effort herself and not having to be pushed or guided along.

With progress being made I still have concerns as I know the day is approaching that she will be returning to her home in TN which needs t happen as she can't stay forever and I know she misses her family greatly! I'm concern that she want be a 100% mind ready and that once these major responsibilities come back to play a role in her life which as we all know brings stress, stress brings anxiety, anxiety brings depression! So that said this is my prayer request is this will not happen and that all things falls in place, things that need to be done that are unspoken get done, that the Holy Spirit just moves everything necessary for Stephanie to have complete Healing as that is what we've all prayed for!

So for this short post I just want to end this by just thanking the God of Heaven for what he's done thus far, and what He will do in the coming days as we just continue to rely on Him!

Moving Forward One Step at a Time

Here we are almost 3 weeks and I really can't believe it. It's Sunday evening and Stephanie is at my parents as I will pick her up on Monday. This gives my family a break and we are able to have some time together and a small break before a new week begins. My family has really been great and I'm very proud of how we've all adjusted. I just got off the phone with Stephanie and she sounded really good except she still goes back to her anxiety levels of not being saved. I ask her to let take our Bible and let’s just see if we can see this in scripture if God ever let us see if a person would really understand that they’ve not trusted Jesus and it was too late for them. The one account that I can really recognize might be in the case of Judas as he basically sold his eternal life to give Christ up and we know that story.

You might ask yourself why and how has Stephanie gotten to this point and as her Brother I even ask that. But that is just it, as you know I’m someone who has experienced depression and also experienced an obsessive type situation but in my case it was I was going to lose everything and I will tell you at the time it was very real and nothing anyone would tell me was not enough as you may have about 15 minutes of thinking clearly and bang you in a obsessive behavior again. I pray none of you ever, ever experience this or anyone in your family.

So this past week Stephanie made her 2nd visit to her doctor and he told me that he didn’t really expect her to be much better since the medication was new. He did come out and tell me she looked much better than 2 weeks ago, but still knows she’s got a long way to go. As you must know Stephanie is really missing her family and longs to go home, but we insist what good she would be if she went home today. Could she be 100% to be able to handle her responsibilities and she says no she couldn’t. So I tell her let’s press on let’s press on for the goal of seeing this to the finish line. Let’s see her mind set be 100% healed that she can go home and be the wife and mother God intended. Also I asked today to pray that everything that needs to happen in her life is done from God and not man. That it doesn’t have to be spoken that the Holy Spirit will just act in accordance with what he feels is necessary for her healing and long term healing. Holy Spirit I just ask this for her in Jesus name…Amen! Continue to pray for her sleep habits as they are getting better, that she can get the sleeping inhabitants completely out of her life. Pray for her doctors, pray for her progress, pray for a mighty miracle of complete healing.

As I close remember we're just Moving Forward One Step at a Time and that Step is with our Lord.........The Lord of Glory, The Lord of Creation, The Lord that created 350,000,000,000 galaxy's who put at least 6 million leaves on an average Elm Tree...What a God, What a Father, What a Jesus and What a Spirit....who lives in all of us who calls Him Saviour

Steve

Day 15 at the doctors

Well not much different since yesterday, but we had a doctor’s appointment today and it went really well. As I think the doctor really saw an improvement from previous weeks. She's really beginning to get home sick, but the doctor told her today that she will need to stay at least until the 17th which if she went home and she said very little. I truly believe if she went home today that within a week or so or maybe about as long as it's taken her to get better that she would be in the very same condition as she arrived in. I'm not sure if she could take much more of that with the mindset that I found her in. Starting tomorrow my plans are to get her outside and working in some of my flower beds in doing some winter plantings, I feel will be therapeutic for her as she will be able to get her mind of herself and on to something else. Also it will be good for her to spend some time in the outside air other than just an occasional walk. I also plan for us to go to my gym as we both need as we've been cooking for her and eating big meals at least 2 times per day. Kristin is also going to have her do some Mary Kay work for her also in getting ready for a big Christmas event that coming up for her, so this should get her mind away from her normal thought process and just maybe from the obsessive thinking patterns that she is on. My prayer is the same for her, but also really focus on your prayers for her that God would give her the confidence that she never ever doubts her salvation for ETERNITY again....that the deal has been sealed and nothing she say or does will take that away. John 8:12 says Jesus answered I am the Light of the World, he who follow Me shall not walk in darkness but walk in the Light of Life." I have observed Stephanie for many years and I know that she's walked in that light and will continue to do so. Jesus was clear that we would have problems when we walked in this world, but not matter what those problems are temporary and they do and shall pass. I guarantee....once again lets just bind together as the church and allow the Head Jesus guide Stephanie with His eyes of perfection.....Steve

The Why? Is what we don't Understand

Day 14 I really can't believe it's day 14. I picked Stephanie up from my parents today and when I saw her I thought she didn't quite look as good as I left her on Friday afternoon, but as we drove home she talked more and didn't quite obsessed about things as she has in the past. This where I want to start this blog as I've ask Stephanie just how much I can share and she’s given me permission to share this. Stephanie as most of you know who really know is one of the finest Christian women that I know, she had a huge influence in my own personal life when I became a true believe some 20 or 21 years ago and that’s really where I will begin. See Stephanie for those of you who don’t know her is one of the most Bible believing individual that I know, but for some reason when Stephanie goes through this she begins to have doubts about her salvations that somehow she's rejected the Holy Spirit in the past and didn't even realize it and God has turned her back on her and it's too late to be saved. No matter what anybody says or how much we share the gospel with her she still has obsessive behavior that she's not saved. I will tell you that without a shadow of a doubt my sister is a child of the most High God and has a place in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Some of you reading this may think not the Stephanie I know, but for some reason the avenger the devil seeks to kill her, destroy her, and disrupt her belief system. Isn't that just like the devil to attack her on who she loves most and that is Father God! The great I AM, the Alpha and Omega! Just for this record I've been able just set back and see how Satan attacks us just from my sister been here with me. See in the previous post I shared that I too went through a depression where I almost lost everything dear to me, and believe it or not that’s exactly what I was obsessing over that I was going to lose my company, my family, my home, my children etc.......and it was driving me crazy. Couldn’t sleep, couldn't eat, night sweats, excessive movements and one thought COMPLETE FAILURE! I will never forget it!

So from my 2 observation Stephanie's and myself is I think and this is only my opinion is that Satan knows our weaknesses see I realized that maybe my first love was trying to be successful, big house, big cars, big job, etc......and from this experience I realized that I wasn't true to myself that my first love should be my God in heaven, the God that created 350,000,000,000 galaxies and yes I think that is billion, the God that put 6 million leaves on an average elm tree, the God that created this earth where Louie Armstrong as he took off from the moon looked down and saw planet earth and took his thumb and measured the size of earth with the tip of it. He made a statement that he realized he felt really small. You see God is big God he's our creator who created us for HIS purpose and not the other way around.

So you might ask what does this have to relate to depression and Stephanie. See as I said maybe my first love may have been money, success, things, but I've come full circle. You see in April what I thought and was obsessing about happened. I closed my business, I haven't found a job, things are tight, but guess what? I'm the riches person alive, because you see I have this person called Jesus who chose me and who is doing an extradinary thing in my life.....something that may have taken me 44 years to realize is TRUST JESUS. You see I'm confident that Stephanie will get through this and that she too will realize trusting JESUS will happen again......as she will gain her thoughts and her beliefs system back in order.....then she too will understand that satan attacks, but Jesus wins!!!! So on day 14 I ask for the same prayers; medicine takes immediate effect, true healing will occur, doctors have the mind of Jesus and that He gives this doctor perfect thought on her continued progress, and that these negative thoughts leave her forever and ever. May the King of Heaven get all the Glory---Amen